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10 Things You Should Never Say to an Australian

Alethea Dilys by Alethea Dilys
January 24, 2023
in Australia
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Australians are a flock of flaming Galahs with a satirical and ironic sense of humor, but we find none of the following phrases amusing. These are the ten things you should never say to an Australian, from shrimps on the barbecue to insulting our national sport and favorite breakfast food.

Table of Contents

  • Add another shrimp to the grill.
  • Dingo ate my baby
  • Vegemite is disgusting
  • What is the difference between New Zealand and Australia?
  • Fosters is the best beer in the world, bar none.
  • I detest AFL
  • You mean Jenner when you say Kylie, right?
  • America’s coffee is superior.
  • I don’t like slang
  • They are known as flip-flops.

Add another shrimp to the grill.

Before Tourism Australia’s disastrous “where the bloody hell are you?” campaign, Paul Hogan was chosen to deliver the line “slip an extra shrimp on the barbie for you” in their 1984 tourist advertisement. Except for the fact that Australians don’t use the word shrimp – we call them prawns – this quote would be utterly quintessentially Australian.

10 Things You Should Never Say to an AustralianDingo ate my baby

Australians are known for their irreverent sense of humor, but we will not tolerate this. When her daughter Azaria was abducted by a dingo while on vacation in Uluru, Lindy Chamberlain is credited with coining the phrase. It is incredibly insensitive to say this to anyone given that a baby died on that night in 1980.

10 Things You Should Never Say to an Australian
Pixabay

Vegemite is disgusting

How dare you! Vegemite is a delicacy, and like all delicacies, less is more when it comes to consumption. It should not be consumed by the spoonful, nor should it be spread on toast like butter or jam. If you adhere to these simple guidelines, you too can be a Happy Little Vegemite, as our unofficial national anthem proclaims. In addition, as one of the richest sources of vitamin B, there is much to be thankful for. Even Miley Cyrus, who has a vegemite jar tattoo, is a fan.

See also  12 things no one tells you about Australia
10 Things You Should Never Say to an Australian
Vegemite on store shelf | © Maksym Kozlenko/WikiCommons

What is the difference between New Zealand and Australia?

Australia and New Zealand are two very different places separated by over 2,000 kilometers; comparing the two is equivalent to believing that the United States and Canada are identical. In addition to the distance and the fact that they are two separate countries, each has its own distinct culture and geography. Although our flags are similar, each nation has its own unique identity.

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10 Things You Should Never Say to an Australian
Satellite photograph of Australia and New Zealand | © Pbsouthwood/WikiCommon

Fosters is the best beer in the world, bar none.

You’ve clearly never tried Carlton Draught. While Fosters is an Australian brand, it’s not the beer of choice for Aussies and is much more popular with the British. Fosters is not even among our top ten favorite beers. To drink like an authentic Australian, choose Victoria Bitter or, even better, support a local microbrewery.

10 Things You Should Never Say to an Australian
Fosters in America, Victoria Bitters in Australia | © Jim Legans, Jr/Flickr

I detest AFL

Sport is a significant part of Australian culture, and AFL is our national game, so while it’s not illegal to dislike Australian football, it’s best to keep your opinions to yourself. AFL has the fourth highest attendance of any professional sport, and the Friday before the Grand Final is celebrated in Victoria with a public holiday and parade.

10 Things You Should Never Say to an Australian
Ball is in dispute in Hawthorn-Essendon AFL match | © Tom Reynolds/WikiCommons

You mean Jenner when you say Kylie, right?

As far as any Australian is concerned, there is only one Kylie, and she does not sell overpriced lipstick. The undisputed Princess of Pop is a cultural icon, from Scott and Charlene’s wedding on Neighbours to her extraordinarily successful music career.

10 Things You Should Never Say to an Australian
Kylie Minogue 2011 | © Paul Robinson/WikiCommons

America’s coffee is superior.

You’re kidding, right? Why order a triple venti soy latte with extra whip and caramel drizzle if all you receive is dishwater? In Australia, coffee is an art form, and our baristas, particularly in Melbourne, are highly trained. Australians take their coffee seriously, with menus that include pour over, aeropress, cold drip, and cappuccino options.

See also  20 Things I Wish I Was Told Before Moving to Australia
10 Things You Should Never Say to an Australian
Market Lane QVM Deli Hall Shop | Courtesy of Lauren Bamford

I don’t like slang

Unfortunately, you are currently in Australia, where everything is abbreviated. The rule of thumb is that any proper noun with three syllables will have a shortened alternative; for example, McDonald’s becomes Maccas. Also, in order to confuse foreigners, we have a lengthy list of meaningless words and use offensive language to describe our friends. As an example of a typical sentence, consider the following traffic report: “Had an accident in Broady. Due to the presence of Towies, it is crowded in that direction.”

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10 Things You Should Never Say to an AustralianThey are known as flip-flops.

The answer is no! They are known as thongs and are a summer wardrobe essential. The term flip-flops makes no sense whatsoever. They are not crabby patties, as they cannot be worn in two ways. Admit it, the term is absurd, and the world should adopt our term immediately.

10 Things You Should Never Say to an Australian
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Topic: 10 Things You Should Never Say to an Australian

Participate in Our Community “I Left My Heart in Australia” .A place where members can open up to one another, share their travel stories and photos, and experience a new way to travel Australia – together.

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Alethea Dilys

Alethea Dilys

Outdoors expert and travel reporter Alicia is an adventurer, trail runner, hiker, and ultramarathoner. She worked as a physical therapist assistant for eight years before becoming a travel writer and a stay-at-home mom to her daughter. Alicia is a fourth-generation Arizona native who has also lived in Utah and Montana. Her happiest moments are spent in the mountains with her family, running long distances on trails and climbing peaks with her infant. Alicia currently resides in Mesa, Arizona with her husband, child, and chocolate lab, Maggie.

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