After growing up in Hawaii and moving from Oregon to Italy to Indiana, I’ve had to battle tons of cliches about my home state. I’ve gotten questions from “Did you live in a grass shack?” and “Do you eat pineapple with everything?” to “Do you have running water?”
There have been times when I was so fed up with these inquirers (also known as, damn haoles, which means a foreigner or someone who is not a native of Hawaii). But I’ve also learned to be patient. These people weren’t lucky enough to grow up in such an awesome place.
Here are 8 ways to piss off someone from my Hawai’i nei, beloved Hawaii:
1. Ask us if you need a passport to visit Hawaii
Believe it or not, I’ve gotten this question quite a few times. Before you plan your trip to Hawaii, please freshen up on geography and history. We’ve been a state for quite some time now, since 1959 in fact.
2. Tell us how funny we pronounce words like “Hawaii,” “Mahalo,” “Aloha,” etc.
We live here. “Hawaii” is pronounced huh-vi-ee, because Ws are pronounced like Vs. Also, vowels are pronounced as follows:
There are 13 letters in the Hawaiian alphabet, counting the ‘okina symbol as a letter. The ‘okina is the apostrophe mark and is a glottal stop/break in the word, which is very fast. There is also the kahako, which is a stress mark that appears only over vowels and serves to make the vowel sound a little longer.
Mispronouncing the ‘okina or kahako can cause a change in how a word sounds, as well as its meaning.
Therefore, you pronounce those words funny.
3. Littering is okay
Nothing upsets me more than seeing people trash our beautiful beaches or anywhere else for that matter. Because Hawaii is an island, your trash will end up in our oceans. Live and learn malama da aina (to take care of the land).
4. Everyone from Hawaii is actually Hawaiian
Hawaii is home to thousands of ethnicities. So many times I have been referred to as the “Hawaiian girl,” when in fact I do not have Hawaiian heritage. I’m Filipino, Japanese, Okinawan, Italian, French, and German. From the time we’re in elementary school, we learn to befriend people of every ethnicity and embrace the Hawaiian culture.
5. Define “cold” for us
If we say we’re cold, then we’re cold. We don’t care if it’s 65° and you’re used to it being in the 20s. We don’t appreciate your constant reply of “Cold?! You don’t even know what cold is!”
In Hawaii, the lowest temperatures are in the low 60s, and anything below 74 is considered cold. And that’s okay.
6. That it’s okay to be a rude driver
Now, I know there are always exceptions to the rule, but in Hawaii most of us tend to just tro’ da shaka, or let someone into your lane. And we usually only honk to say hello to someone we know on the road.
7. That we spend all of our time at the beach
We have jobs, too. Just like any other place, people in Hawaii need to make a living, usually work 8 hours per day, deal with the insane cost of living, and sit through hours upon hours of pau hana (time after work) traffic, which is, by the way, some of the worst traffic in the U.S.
And last, but not least, one of my favorites….
8. Asking us why we fly to the other islands when we can just … swim