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13 Things They Don’t Tell You about Living in Melbourne

Alethea Dilys by Alethea Dilys
January 31, 2023
in Australia
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Melbourne has been named the world’s most livable city seven years in a row, but how much do you really know about life in this great city? From the sluggish trams to the weather and our obsession with AFL, these are facts about living in Melbourne that you should be aware of.

Table of Contents

  • Myki is annoying.
  • No one drinks Starbucks
  • Trams are sluggish
  • It’s multicultural in scope
  • It is perfectly safe to explore alleyways.
  • Winter endures eternally
  • Which side of the river is north or south?
  • How to correctly pronounce suburbs
  • AFL is a faith.
  • How to execute a hook turn
  • Harbour Town is a haunted place.
  • Melbourne loves events
  • How to interpret parking signs

Myki is annoying.

13 Things They Don't Tell You about Living in Melbourne
Myki Machine | © Rexness/Flickr

That is the question: to touch off or not to touch off. In fact, this is one of many questions and frustrations Melbourne residents have about the Myki system. Myki is a reusable travel smartcard required for Melbourne’s trains, trams, and buses. Doesn’t that appear to be fairly simple? False, scanners frequently malfunction, causing lines, and cards must be purchased in advance because they are not available at all stops.

No one drinks Starbucks

13 Things They Don't Tell You about Living in Melbourne
Market Lane QVM Deli Hall Shop | Courtesy of Lauren Bamford

Given that Melbourne has a Gilmore-sized coffee obsession, it may seem odd that no one is ever seen drinking Starbucks or yelling obscenities like “triple venti pumpkin spice latte.” Always choose local cafes over coffeehouse chains in Melbourne, become acquainted with your barista, and drink espressos, lattes, and flat whites.

Trams are sluggish

The Melbourne tram network is the world’s longest urban tramway, with 250 kilometers of track and 25 routes. The rattling trams with their charming bells are also a defining characteristic of Melbourne, despite being notoriously slow. Remember that the historic City Circle Tram is free, so if you’re not in a hurry, you should absolutely ride it.

See also  15 big mistakes to avoid in Sydney
13 Things They Don't Tell You about Living in Melbourne
A1 241 and Z3 202 (Melbourne trams) in Swanston St, December 2013 | © Liamdavies/WikiCommons

It’s multicultural in scope

While there are many Australians in Melbourne, approximately 66% of the population was born overseas. This multicultural metropolis is comprised of people from approximately 200 countries, speaking 233 languages and representing 116 religions. British, Indian, Chinese, Vietnamese, Italians, and Greeks make up a significant proportion of the population, which explains the wide variety of delectable cuisines available.

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13 Things They Don't Tell You about Living in MelbourneIt is perfectly safe to explore alleyways.

In Melbourne, the coolest bars, cafes, and boutiques are tucked away in laneways and back alleys, so don’t be afraid to explore them. The laneways of Melbourne are also famous for their ever-changing street art murals. A and B are among the best.

13 Things They Don't Tell You about Living in Melbourne
Shepard Fairey Hosier Melbourne | © TigTab/WikiCommons

Winter endures eternally

If you’re used to the four seasons arriving sequentially throughout the year, you’re in for a surprise in Melbourne, where the weather does whatever it wants, whenever it wants. Typically, winter lasts until summer arrives, bringing with it heat waves and forest fires. Spring and Autumn exist, albeit on a mythological level, and Melbourne truly experiences four seasons in a single day; therefore, you should always bring an umbrella.

13 Things They Don't Tell You about Living in MelbourneWhich side of the river is north or south?

The Yarra River divides the northern and southern portions of Melbourne. The Northside is a hipster enclave filled with beer gardens and terraced homes. North Melbourne, Fitzroy, Carlton, Collingwood, Abbotsford, Thornbury, Brunswick, and Coburg are among the northern suburbs. In the affluent southern suburbs of St. Kilda, Port Melbourne, Toorak, South Melbourne, Prahran, Windsor, and South Yarra, you’ll find footballers and their wives, sports-luxe fashion, and a willingness to brunch.

See also  15 Habits You Can't Help Picking Up in Australia
13 Things They Don't Tell You about Living in Melbourne
St. Kilda Pier | © Donaldytong/WikiCommons

How to correctly pronounce suburbs

Correct suburb pronunciation is a contentious issue, even among Melburnians, so don’t worry too much if your delivery is a little off; however, here are a few tips to help you out. Melbourne is pronounced Mel-buhn or Mel-ben, not Mel-borne; Reservoir is Resa-vore; Northcote is Noth-cote; Carlton is Carl-tun; Prahran is Per-ran; and Lalor is most commonly pronounced Lay-law.

13 Things They Don't Tell You about Living in MelbourneAFL is a faith.

In and out of season, the Australian Football League (AFL) dominates every newspaper and television newscast, and when you first meet a Melburnian, they will likely ask, “Who do you cheer for?” The Australian Football League, which began in Victoria in 1896, is an integral part of Melbourne’s culture. Since 2015, the Friday preceding the annual Grand Final at the Melbourne Cricket Ground has been observed as a public holiday.

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13 Things They Don't Tell You about Living in Melbourne
Stoppage in an AFL game | © Tom Reynolds/WikiCommons

How to execute a hook turn

Melbourne is one of the few cities in the world where drivers are required to perform the terrifying hook turn. The hook turn consists of making a right-hand turn from the left-hand lane in order to keep intersections clear for tram use.

13 Things They Don't Tell You about Living in MelbourneHarbour Town is a haunted place.

Harbour Side in Docklands has been nothing short of a disaster. On paper, an open-air waterfront retail and dining district with a giant observation wheel sounds fantastic. Fortunately, the area, which will soon be renamed District Docklands, is undergoing a $150 million makeover that will include H&M and Hoyts Cinemas.

13 Things They Don't Tell You about Living in MelbourneMelbourne loves events

Melbourne’s events calendar is packed with things to do, ranging from large-scale events to restaurant openings, underground gigs, and major festivals. The Australian Open, the Formula One Australian Grand Prix, the AFL Grand Final, the Melbourne Cup Carnival, and the Boxing Day Test are major sporting events. Moomba, the Melbourne International Comedy Festival, the Melbourne Food and Wine Festival, the Melbourne International Film Festival, the Melbourne Writers Festival, the Melbourne Festival, Melbourne Fashion Week, and Vision Australia’s Carols by Candlelight are also held in the city.

See also  20 Things I Wish I Was Told Before Moving to Australia
13 Things They Don't Tell You about Living in Melbourne
Tree of Codes | Courtesy of Melbourne Festival

How to interpret parking signs

Between the lack of parking spaces, reckless drivers, and thoughtless pedestrians, parking your vehicle can be a nightmare, and the task is made even more stressful by the need to interpret the confusing signs. Clearway, Loading Zone, Permit Zone, Restricted Parking, and No Standing signs in Melbourne frequently contain contradictory instructions. If you are unsure of where to park, find another space, as improper parking will result in a hefty fine.

13 Things They Don't Tell You about Living in Melbourne

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Alethea Dilys

Alethea Dilys

Outdoors expert and travel reporter Alicia is an adventurer, trail runner, hiker, and ultramarathoner. She worked as a physical therapist assistant for eight years before becoming a travel writer and a stay-at-home mom to her daughter. Alicia is a fourth-generation Arizona native who has also lived in Utah and Montana. Her happiest moments are spent in the mountains with her family, running long distances on trails and climbing peaks with her infant. Alicia currently resides in Mesa, Arizona with her husband, child, and chocolate lab, Maggie.

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